Upcoming Event

If you are in the Central Belt, (or even further north!), maybe you might like to gather with me and others across denominations as we seek God for his empowering, his strategy and his presence as we prepare our churches for welcoming more and more children and their whole families into the Christian faith.

If you know me or have been following this blog for some time, you will know that I cannot separate children and teenagers from their families. I have been reading and researching the first four centuries of church growth as preparation for the chapter on children and families in the New Testament in the book I am writing.

I have re-discovered much that is making my heart beat faster, my faith levels increase and an increasing, "awakes me at night" deep hunger for the good news to spill out into the community. Like an infectious disease, (!) my plan was simply to facilitate a time for others to catch it too by drawing folks together to worship and pray. I'll teach a little bit on what I see in the Bible that underpins and highlights the rapid transferral of a life-changing belief in the person of Jesus from one person to another through the extended family and social networks of the day - sociologists like Rodney Stark have concrete evidence for a 40% growth rate every decade from the time of Jesus resurrection to the end of the fourth century. Close study of actual death records in Egypt over one time period showed this growth rate to be modest - it was in fact far higher than this for the one specific area records existed for.

The reasons for this rapid spread of Christianity are varied and complex but there is consensus that the different way of life (witness) of the changing family had such an impact that people WANTED to re-orientate their lives towards Jesus - babies were born without the fear of exposure/infanticide, women were treated well and grew in their own giftings and leadership; marriage was honoured, slaves were treated well, families grew and thrived. In short - people were attracted to what they saw in the lives of Christians. Wow.Wow. Wow.....oh Father, how we want to see more of that in our time!

So this evening of prayer, worship, teaching and preparation to go and love and serve is on Monday 26 September at 7.30pm. Email me on children.pastor@gmail.com if you would like more information.

At the moment I am serving on the ministry team of an ILSOM (International Leaders School of Ministry) and have been reminded by the internationally-travelled speakers of the incredible growth of the church in South America, Africa, China, Indonesia, Korea....in short - in every continent bar ours and North America......

But something is stirring. Hunger is rising. A month ago, 15,000 young adults gathered for a conference in Chicago - Jesus Culture Awakening. I was privileged to watch a lot of the talks live and I urge you to listen to them - they blew me away.. You can find out about them here

I do believe that hunger is stirring in our nation too - to get "out there", to love and serve local communities, to love our cities, towns and villages. There is a rising dissatisfaction I have observed with just "doing church". Yet we mustn't rush ahead without spending time with the Father to just rest and listen; to hear his strategies and plans, just receiving from him because we're simply his beloved! Its hard enough to get out there without crashing and burning(interestingly I read this today and I wholeheartedly agree with Mike Breen's (initially tough-sounding) post.

And so the plan for Monday 26 Sept is that we too will gather to ask the Lord to enlarge our hearts to love the ones who are in front of us, maybe even related to us (!) and to believe that once more God can change a nation by impacting one who impacts another who then impacts another. We need the fuel and fire that comes from sitting at the Father's feet and drinking in the Holy Spirit's power and plans rather than relying on our own strategies and thoughts.

Disappointed

"Discipline:

We try to make our programs fun, fresh and powerful so that a child will not become disruptive. We also use positive reinforcement and team competitions where points are awarded for good behaviour and deducted for innapropriate behaviour. In extreme circumstances a child may be placed back into the adult service with their parent. Parents will be notified of innapropriate behaviour (sic)."

Grrrrrrrrrrr. The above is an excerpt from a very large church website. One of the key members of this church, who founded the children's ministry programme in that place is speaking at an event in the UK. I'm afraid reading words like those above really put me off going. In fact, I don't really want to go (unless you, dear reader, talk me round!) because entirely separate churching of age groups to me isn't just a matter of taste, its about losing something of the discipleship culture we are meant to build and celebrate and show the world.

I'm disappointed and I'm tired of reading words like those above: "a child may be placed back in the ADULT service with their parent. Parents will be notified of inappropriate behaviour" (I've corrected the spelling).

Why am I so disappointed?

1. "adult service" - like the cinema classification system, are we soon to have:
"U cert" - everyone can attend this event, such as a church beach trip
"PG" - you can bring your offspring to this meeting, but if they barf or get freaked out by anything that happens, it's your responsibility.
"12" - your older primary children can probably handle this event, but you'd better be on hand, parents (e.g. Good Friday reflective service)
"15" - only for those in the yoof programme e.g. average length evening service
"18" - you'd better be grown up to have some longevity about you e.g. very long evening service, church business meetings, many church prayer meetings

2. I'm disappointed that the most extreme method of discipline is to put a child BACK in the adult service with the adults. Note the words: BACK IN.

So the message given out by this website is that the adults meeting with God equals a place of punishment for a child who is missing the excitement of the kids programme.

What does this say about the experience of being in the presence of God? I actually feel very strongly about this point in case you hadn't guessed. I have devised in the past a whole load of ways of working with children who are having behaviour issues at church; it nearly always comes out of one of two things: (a) we need to look at what we are teaching, how we are teaching it and who is teaching it and maybe make some changes or (b)things are not great at home in some way; a lack of boundaries, or there are worries, tensions, bullying, threats or abuse. I've been used to sitting with my colleagues and sharing pastorally so that I might be the lead person but we pray and support the family (and me) together, for we cared about each family represented in the church.

3. I'm also (as the regulars amongst you will know) disappointed with the term "adult service". I don't believe there is biblical precedent for it.

I favour the "part and part" approach with occasional but regular all-age incursions that we may all learn from each other and in one or other, or both the churches I have worked in, I have been liberated to do my thing, e.g. to model good pastoral care for families, kids and volunteers, to pioneer prayer meetings for all ages, large celebration meetings with everyone represented and intergenerational cell groups AS AN OPTION for those who wish to use them. Neither church has held adult-only everything (except of course the certificate 18 church business meetings!)

4. And finally, as if there wasn't enough here for you all to leave this blog and never return, I'm disappointed that this website makes no mention of the need to WORK WITH and SUPPORT parents. If a child isn't behaving, something is going on, as I said in point 2 above, I believe pastoral care and support is so important. They may just be tired or family circumstances might be causing a wobble (a parent out of work, for example) but it can be something more serious. Many years ago I worked with a boy who the team had to refer on to me for continual misbehaviour - it transpired that there was major stuff going on. As a church we offered support in a number of ways to the family and it was with great delight some years later I saw him be baptised. On a return visit to the church he hugged me and Mr HIWWC. Imagine if we had just sent him back into the "adult service"....(for his behaviour was extreme).

To be clear, I can and have sent for parents to come out of the service to support the team in serious cases but at the end I talk with the parent(s) and the child, pray with them, visit them at home if necessary and follow up. I always talk about how we have a God of second chances and how my love and care for them does not depend on their behaviour.

Rant over.......anyone with me at all?

Winter is past, the springtime has come.....

The picture above is the view from our decking/breakfast table. This holiday is a gift from God! He's so good to us. Two things I love: cliffs and waves. And I can see them every day.

I thought I would write about a little highlight of our holiday so far:we have just had the privilege of spending the last two Sundays at the tubestation - which is both gathered church and a missional community, engaged in midweek activity within their base building and much, much wider in that in the way the folks there share their lives.

We've been coming here for 3 years now on our Cornwall summer holidays and it's inspiring to see a two-pronged missional focus:
(1) to the surfing community and
(2) to the local community - the village of Polzeath (and now to other local villages with the plant out to St Merryn)

A few years ago I had the privilege of offering a detailed prophecy to the leaders there, when I knew very little about their history, background, hopes or desires and just chewing that over together has given us one of those precious heart-to-heart connections with the tube station project directors. I love that about the kingdom of God - when you don't see people very often, so you don't know the minutiae of each other's lives, and yet you support one another fiercely - the picture that comes to mind is of people in the crowd who are cheering you - they are all for you. Well, that's how we feel about tubestation.

The need to give people from all ages and stages of life a broad welcome was the theme of this Sunday's sermon with Ian Bell of the Methodist Church's Venture FX scheme speaking. I have heard Ian speak before and I love his simplicity, humility, warmth and evident excitement about the fresh expressions of church he encourages and develops.

The word I would use to sum up tubestation is "inclusive". They love to have visitors. Their attendance can go from 40 or 50 in the winter to over 250 some Sundays in the summer - we wondered if that gets annoying for the regulars but they genuinely love it when the place is packed out and visitors come from all over the country/world. I'll say this with a bias, for which I can't apologise, given what I am writing about in the book project just now - they have a very high regard for young people. We visited the building after school time today and there were a lot of kids and teenagers around - surfing the internet, skateboarding, playing around on the grass. Please do check out the website to see what other things they do - what has impressed me over the last few years is the inclusiveness of the activities that go on; yes, there is a focus on one of the two things mentioned earlier (surf community/local community) but within that children and teenagers have a place that's all for them. I get the feeling that the heart of tubestation is to love well and to love all, hence the relevance of Sunday's sermon.

The worship leading is just immense - we have probably been around 6 or 7 times now and there is always a reverence for the old hymns of the past with one of the Wesleys usually featuring (Methodist chapel remember!) and lots of songs that mention "seas", "oceans", "waves" and the beauty of God's creation. And there is such a sense of the presence of God - the band is tight, musically, but Kris, the lead worshipper most times I have been there, leads what must be an incredibly diverse crowd (denominationally speaking!) so sensitively. You can tell he just loves to worship God any way he can. That desire is always visible when someone is really living it.

And so this Sunday we sang one of our favourite songs, but not always a common choice, you can click on it at the end of the post if you wish.

Winter is past, the springtime has come....

Martin Luther WTG!

Martin Luther - way to go!!!:

When I preach I regard neither doctors nor magistrates, of whom I have above forty in the congregation, I have all my eyes on the maidservants and on the children. If the learned men are not well pleased with what they hear, well, the door is open".

Is it possible???

I've been having deep, deep thoughts whilst hanging the washing out.
This is just a series of questions for reflection.

Is it possible to love the institution of the church too much?
Is it possible to be so caught up with what we do to make our church, church, that we actually engage in an act of idolatry by exalting the church to a place above that which it was intended to have?

"I love my church" something I know I have said in the past - a statement that can be difficult to interpret - "I love my fellow called out, chosen ones" - "I love the ones who stand alongside me, marked as different in the community they find themselves" would be more theologically accurate but do we sometimes mean: "I love the experience I have being part of my church"?

There is no doubt that belonging, making "church happen" is incredibly fulfiling - I know this for myself! - but is there not even the tiny potential that worshipping this fact can creep in?

And it is also incredibly possible that we fall in love more with the feeling that comes with being part of the church more than passionately loving the one who is the Head of the church; who loved not his own life but gave it away for those who had no hope of fullness of life.

And for me that is the difficult walk. To know that when guitars cease playing, when shouts of joy tail off, when the last person has been prayed for, outside the doors of our experience of church there are broken, broken people who are loved by no-one. People so low in depression they don't know whether to keep on breathing tonight. Children who are routinely abused. Business people with loads of money but an empty ache.

In the potential that there undoubtedly is for "glam and show" at conferences and churches today, are we growing disciples who have at the absolute front of their thoughts every night and day, burning love for the Father and a heart for the lost? Every extra day before the point that Jesus returns is an opportunity for more and more people to hear about him. He's longing for people to come to love him (1 Tim 2:4). Maybe some people might not have thought of that.

As a wise man once said: the flow of the river of God is out - to love your experience of church but be unanchored in the community outside the church is not the Jesus way.

The most worrying trend that I have ever observed is Christians caught in the ghetto of lunch/coffee/nights out with Christians/meetings all the time/Christian-church stuff all the time (even if its under the guise of "we're doing it for the people not in our church") - well, get living life with the people not in the church! Join a club, volunteer at the local hospice, be a Brownie leader, start a book group with people from work, get a part-time job pulling pints - oh, and read David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyon's book: UNchristian........

I can write about this because I have recognised the pull of loving the experience of church too much in my own life. Back in University days one of our wise friends decreed that the 30 or so of us who were studying there should all only get together on Wednesdays for lunch instead of being in and out of each other's flats/social calendars all the time - he said: hang out with your class ALL THE TIME apart from Wednesday lunchtime. We met to eat and spent 2 to 3 hours worshippng and praying for our classmates each and every Wednesday. We didn't see each other again apart from on a Sunday. That was a 1980s missional community (except we didn't call it as such). I remember it was really hard because I loved the warmth and ease of being part of such a vibrant, worshipful, on fire church. But we grew deeper and faster and saw huge inroads in our influence in our classes and faculties.

Hey, heavy thoughts but on a sabbaticalling time you get to see a few churches and these have been my thoughts from some travelling about just now. Hope they are helpful questions, not meant to be condemning ones, just my honest reflections.

Dreams

My days just now are spent either writing or dreaming at the moment, which seem to be in direct opposition to one another, except that in a way they aren't, as one is feeding into another.

I wrote before about some of the dreams I have been having, a lot to do with bringing older generations together with the young, seniors and parents, and to see intentional discipleship get to another level; discipleship that releases us into the community under authority and with real power.

I read a journal entry last week from 2009 that I had completely forgotten about - the retreat leader asked us to ask the Holy Spirit to show us what we were created to do and I wrote the following: (short excerpt!)

I've created you to break down partitions - they are not barriers because barriers are more sold, more permanent. Partitions are moveable, temporary and often left in place because of convenience; they have always been there so why bother moving them? Yet there is one who can show a different way; that it is possible and will indeed be necessary as we approach the final days. "All hands on deck" will be the phrase of the day; advance the kingdom in signs and wonders using children, teenagers, families, singles, adults of more mature years, EVERYONE!.........The army of God rising up like the terracotta soldiers [in China], each one different, unique. Long buried underground, not known about till that discovery. Each soldier has a set of weapons and is in battle formation.

You will (and have already) encounter great opposition, even from those who carry a revivalist anointing because partitions equal comfort. Partitions mean each need can be catered for comfortably. There has been a time and a place for this but in these days dismantling is necessary as I want to teach the revivalists that great power is exhibited by the weak; the small; the inexperienced; the young. Adults will walk in even greater power when they partner with the young.

I am reading the most remarkable book called: Launching Missional Communities - A Field Guide. So well laid out, (its won an award for it layout), addictive to read (bring on the case studies), theologically sound, all age inclusive and utterly committed to Holy Spirit ministry. I just feel that my experiences thus far, the things in this book, and the call I feel on my life, are all connected. But I'm waiting for God's help to see how these connections are to spark into life together. I think now I have had to come out, come away to allow that to happen. It's so hard though! I've found some studies on Sunday mornings from the book of Samuel to be really helpful, more about that another time perhaps.

Regarding changing the way we do church - it's OK to ask questions. It's OK to have concerns. It's good to experiment, try things out - and even fail! I have ideas that are probably rubbish ones but it could be so much fun working this out together,if we are in a loving community; if we are secure in who we are and in how great God is! One thing I am sure of is this: God places a very high priority on the place of young people and their families in his kingdom purposes. They are natural missionaries, even as preschoolers, or those in school/college, on the threshold of so much, so open to discipleship, so easy to love. I love them.

Children's Pastor v Family Pastor

This is a very interesting read, although again please note the North American context which over and over again I find myself saying does not allow for complete transference across here. Britain is still, on the whole, a nation with one or a few employees per church, not a whole stack of specialisms.

I've been following a bit of a conversation on some US blogs - some churches have children's pastors and some churches have family pastors.

Over here churches tend to have youth workers, children's workers, community workers, children and family workers and (less often) Children's Pastors and (even more rare) what I am, a Children and Family Pastor. Youth and Children's Minister is quite common, with responsibility for those aged 0-18....

Rarer still, I play my part within the context of a team who share many tasks of pastoral care, service planning and vision casting to our volunteers following the elders' lead. I also teach and lead services.

How would you see this kind of role in your church? Does the job title really matter?

We need a champion

Children's ministers need a champion.
I use the word children's minister in its widest sense - that's everyone who works with children. I like the use of this word and was corrected by my friends in Bethel Church who told me that this is the term they prefer as children's worker does not do justice to what they feel they are bringing into children's lives. It's not work, its ministry from the Father.

Most of you who read this know how important this is, as I doubt you'd be sticking around reading this blog if you felt differently! God wants our churches to reach out to, love on and minister to the young. They have an incredibly high priority to him.

But it feels like an uphill struggle sometimes - do you find you are fighting for space and time for children's and youth work?

When you reflect on your church's services, do you talk about the worship in the service, the response to the Word..................how about a thought being: what was God doing amongst the children/young people? How did the delivery of the Bible go? What was the response like?

I wouldn't ask this because the kids's leaders want a spotlight on them, but because they are seeing encouraging fruit - all over the country when I get the opportunity to speak to others, it's happening - God is moving amongst the young!

But sometimes - let's be honest - churches can have mediocre childrens' ministry, suffering from low expectations, fulfilling the base requirement of the church parents or senior minister or congregation who like it quiet and respectful - or it can be a POWERHOUSE for the kingdom of God to advance amongst the young who we so desperately want to stay in our churches and become fully led into all that God has for them.

Let's "up the ante" on our expectation of what God might do amongst our young. Do you know what? He wants them set free to live victoriously for him. He doesn't want simpering, frightened children who pray thinking that just maybe, someone Up There just might listen to them.

This morning I saw some major stuff kick off. We'd been looking at the call on David's life from a young age, where God saw what was within that others could not see as they were judging on surface appearances. The team were praying over 60 or so kids who had asked God what HE thought of them. They'd heard different words spoken to them by the Holy Spirit as they listened to the track "He says that you're amazing" on Great Big God 3. There were lies that needed broken off these young lives(in a quiet and appropriate manner)as some of the children revealed that they had begun to believe lies about themselves. Some fears and worries came out, and I arranged some liasion with parents after the service (very important, that).

But I and my teams *are* struggling this January. We meet in extraordinarily difficult circumstances (up to 100 children in 2 cold, fairly scabby rooms in a rented facility. No sound system so I was hoarse this morning, and I have a loud voice!). I have skills and knowledge about kids and theology and can think fast on my feet and have a great team, but *I* still need a champion for children. I want to scream from the rooftops that this isn't about personal affirmation, it's support for these precious, precious children, for everything that is attempted with them and for them in the name of Jesus.

At the end of the day, I will get my affirmation from the Father, from sitting/lying at his feet doing my thing, usually with a Bible, some music and hankies (and a cushion!) He's so, so good.

Every church needs a champion for the children/young people, people who are not directly involved who cheer the staff and volunteers on from the side. And sometimes it isn't just cheering from the side, it's a little card, or email, or a listening ear when its most needed. When all is going well, we are so often left to it and then the danger is that the only noise that is made is when there is something going wrong.

Folks get fed up of you if you only talk about the things that are difficult and hard and THAT'S when you really need a champion! They'll speak up for you, email your elders or bring you a cup of tea at the end when there is a queue of people waiting to speak to you, a team to debrief, things to be put away and (yet again) the young child who needs collected and hasn't been.....!

Ecclesiastes talks about how two (people) are better than one. When one is tired, the other lifts them up. I hope and pray that on each church staff and elders team there will be one who will ask regularly what's happening in the world of children and youth ministry, and ask what is needed (I'm hoping for that, as we move buildings. I'm after a luxurious creche, plenty of room and hunnerds of cushions....)

Any church leaders - pop in! Come and see the children. Pop into the youth programme. Speaking personally, you will be remembered for doing that and you might just get a surprise too! (thinking about the Executive Pastor in my place getting deluged by children laying hands on him and praying for him).

September Update

As ever, so much has happened since I last posted.

Last week my voluntary three days a week worker left to move city and I am really missing her - not for what she did (though that was AMAZING!), but I am missing her person. She's lovely. We got on very well. I had given some thought to a variety of things for her to do that gave her a broad experience of children and family work. Having someone who knows your innermost thoughts and feelings and passions and motivations for the role that you play is priceless; matchless. It really helps me to have someone else to share thoughts and ideas with. I think its a stress reliever in more ways that one; its not just about the actualy physical work and emails. Sadly many people in the paid church roles crash and burn - I hear of this quite regularly - we were warned on this and coached about this at Bible College and from one-to-ones with tutors as the staff there were well aware of "crash and burns" and worse. There were some real tragedies too. But that's not a strand of this post I want to dwell on! Pastoral workers and ministers can be notoriously left on their own to cope with things and those who work with youth and children suffer from this as they are out of the morning service for some or all of the time.

The most secure rock of a person feels it when they hear people talk about how awesome the service worship/teaching/ministry was and you were out in another building/room. Maybe one day children and youth team will regularly and spontaneously be asked the question:"what was God doing amongst the children/youth this week in the morning service?". Hee hee, feeling a bit mischevious..... imagine if the first part of every church meeting was spent discussing the complaints of the under-18s. Just imagine it....

"we insist on fair trade squash....in china mugs!"
"we wonder why the chocolate bourbons have been replaced by Rich Teas. That's an unacceptable budget cut".
"To be honest, the games time went on far too long, visitors would have felt quite uncomfortable"

With my children's worker leaving, but with the possibility of her carrying out a similar role in another place, I am reminded that I am also called to is prepare and train other people to do everything that I can do. I have not forgotten the wise words of one of the first pastors I worked alongside who said to me: "Lynn, your job is to do yourself out of a job". Extreme? Perhaps. But true. Challenging? Definitely.

What kinds of experiences did I give an assistant? This is a question I am asked by other church leaders who are thinking about how to broaden their staff team. She went each week to the parent/toddler group to chat to folks. She assisted me at a daytime Alpha course, caring for the participants and meeting up with some outside of the group. I gave her lots of opportunities to lead during the holiday club. Sunday by Sunday, she planned for and taught groups of children, moving onto have oversight of the week by week teams if I was preaching or away. She stepped into the leadership role of the midweek children's club (my role there has always to be to support and facilitate and not run the show; so I would chat with parents as they came to drop off children). Certain pastoral situations we talked and prayed through together. She saw the real behind the scenes of administration and planning for 170 children. She emailed teams on my behalf - in short - she was an amazing help and I hope I have helped her to have a good experience of children and family work.

So I'm a bit sad not to have her. I saw the goodness of God and his call all over her life and its always lifegiving to be part of that.

On the plus side, I have kicked off a new term with loads of new volunteers that I didn't have to try all that hard to get as I harnessed folks who had a great experience at our summer holiday club (it went sooooo well, all credit to the brilliant team). I've just organised the re-launch of the midweek kids club, written an article for these folk and a four-pager for these folks, had my annual review, accepted a request to write an academic book review and another article for the EA after saying I couldn't do it till October. If only the writing things paid me some money I'd be more inclined to write some more (in home time of course) as it's really hard to get time to do it as well as I would like!

Coming up, I have been asked to help a national organisation with prayer events for children and adults together (oooooh I sense the fulfillment of a prophecy coming on) and I hope to run a new event in my own church for parents of babies; introdcing some principles for refreshing and renewing faith in the hard, first year of being a parent. I'm also re-running the highly successful Triple P course in a local school and October should see the next block of kids discipleship.

Ongoing, is the usual Sunday/Thursday stuff but I have instigated a new method of "presenting" given our increased numbers in a smaller space (hall) so I have to do some modelling and training on that, and encourage all the new teams to regroup and hold individual team meetings. Got a stack of contacts/visits to do - a dozen new children in the last couple of weeks. Woooo-hoooo....bring it on...! ....honestly I have never experienced such rapid increase before in my past place or even till now. I do believe this is to come to churches more and more if they will only open their hearts to children and God's heart towards them. See this post for some key thoughts.

Regarding our pastoral care: we are opening the front door real wide but, as with many growing churches, closing the back door remains a challenge for us.

But before all of the October stuff..........on 25 September, I have my annual training and vision day for pastors and leaders and kids team and youth leaders and parents and....anyone with a heart for children!

This will be my seventh and new this year, is a twin track - with practical topics such as using the Bible creatively with children or dealing with challenging behaviour, along with seminars for pastors/parents on setting a vision for young people in your church, children's faith development. If you live in Scotland/N England and you are interested in coming, maybe bringing a kids ministry team or kidnapping your church leaders/pastors and bringing them, then email me on children.pastor@gmail.com

Lunch and materials are provided and it costs £5. In the last few years I have had 40 to 50 of my own team and the same again from other churches and denominations and I feel this is such a positive step forward; doing things across denominations is so important and a sign, I believe, of a coming move of God. Please, Lord!

Unlearning the Unhelpful

I have entitled this post Unlearning the Unhelpful after one of the afternoon sessions from my Vision day on 26 September. It's not out of a book (I know I do use books a lot to help me make a point but I always cite where information comes from and not take credit for things I didn't write); it's a list that came to me on Tuesday 22 September when I asked the Holy Spirit to show me what might prevent him from visiting our churches in greater power. He spoke to me about our love for those with wordly power and prestige; who can make things happen in our churches or donate time and money - and not those who are weak, without a voice and helpless and unexperienced and maybe even unskilled. He reminded me that Jesus let the rich young ruler walk away and yet he sorely rebuked his close friends; his disciples from preventing people bringing their children to him.

I would really love to share the points below more widely within my own church and I would appreciate prayer and guidance on how to do so. We have so much going on (exciting!!) that everything always has to compete a little for time, space and attention and I need to be sensitive to that. I feel tears pricking up in my eyes as I even just think for a second on the kinds of things that happen and are said over children and teenagers every single week in our UK churches.

Last week, at our pre-service prayer meeting, we gathered to pray for the preaching of the word in the service and its effect on the hearers and I felt something rising up within me: WHAT ABOUT THOSE OF US OPENING UP THE WORD TO CHILDREN? Can we be prayed for? Can our youth pastor's team be prayed for too as they teach from the word of God too?

Excuse the capitals, I wasn't angry; having been trained in theological college I utterly agree that preaching is an event where the Word of God is released, but don't the mentions of preaching and teaching in the Bible (proclaiming/declaring/telling/teaching/explaining/announcing.....there are many more!) have something to say about the dynamic relevance of opening up the Word of God to a wide variety of groups of people? I'm totally happy to be corrected and taught by other readers on this one; it is a genuine question I have and one I must ask my SP. He's a good instructor.

I am very grateful to the encouragement a fellow blogger has sent me recently to keep on going; in that they have recognised that there is something driving me, which, in their opinion, could be the missing piece of the revival jigsaw. To hear that from someone I haven't met, who is far away and in a different denominational stream, has meant a lot. Thank you!

Here, then, is my writings on Unlearning the Unhelpful. I post it in order that it may help the hundreds of readers who now visit each week; as you prayerfully go through it I trust that it will help you draw near to God as you renounce things that are not true and replace them with the truth.

I need to stress that there is no guilt in doing so; we live in a world that is FULL of unhelpful attitudes towards children and simply put, we get tainted with this. Today is a time to break free of these and come afresh to Father God to be re-energised with his wonderful heart towards children.

Hebrews 4:14-16
Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Things we may need to renounce:-

•not seeing children as made in the image of God (seeing them as to be tolerated)

•thinking that we have nothing to learn from children

•not allowing children to express ideas and opinions (ignoring faith development studies, where children need to ask questions and test what we say against what they say)

•if we are teaching children, -not giving over adequate time for prep (these are all well known stories I know like the back of my hand) and therefore not allowing the Spirit to speak to our hearts as we read from The Word.

•seeing children as bait: if we get them to come to church, we get the adults (the important people)

•believing that squirmy/noisy children are not listening in church when in reality they are taking everything in

•not allowing children to experience God taking hold of their imaginations (hence the resurgence I think, of Jerome Berryman’s Godly Play, allowing children to enter right into the stories)

•limiting children to our own experience, not allowing joy or sadness or excitedness or the experiential dynamism of the Holy Spirit

•being glad when they have left the service; seeing them as interruptions to our own worship

•if you are a kids' leader, seeing yourself as a babysitting service, missing out on the “main event”

•going “phew!” when children leave the room

•believing that all we need are lovely facilities and the best equipment and then children will be happy (and leave us alone to enjoy God as adults together)

•being a lone ranger and not part of a team


Here is a prayer of renunciation and repentance that I suggested could be used on the training day:

Father, I renounce the lie that _______________________________________
I am truly sorry and ask you to forgive me. I choose today to believe today that ____________________________________________________________________________________ (say here something that is the opposite of the lie that you have believed)

In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

The Barna Group

In the words of Monty Python, now for something completely different.

Several times a year since I started this blog in 2006, I like to highlight the work of George Barna. Quite simply, anything the Barna Group publishes is worth reading. They are the Gallup of the N. American Christian/Social Trends scene. George Barna is not a children's pastor, he is a researcher. He is used by God, I believe, in a very practical sense as well as in a prophetic sense to herald things for the church to sit up and take notice of.

I am preparing for my annual Vision Day - why work with children? How can I help children's leaders and church leaders to carry the flame unflinchingly for the necessity of developing children's faith development at the heart of any plan to grow the church? Growing the church starts with nurturing the faith of the very youngest and discipling them to play their fullest part of the ecclesia, the called out, chosen ones, under the guidance and nurture of the family. I have written more on this in previous posts such as here and here.

[If you wish to come to this day on Saturday 26th Sept, email me on children.pastor@gmail.com for further information]

It's far, far too risky to leave this task to chance, to whoever will look after the kids, "fingers crossed" that they will hopefully do an OK job; or to assume that parents new to faith coming out of postmodern vacuous spirituality will know how to disciple their children.

History shows us that the enemy is seeking to - quite simply - get rid of children - in lots of different ways such as high levels of infant mortality in times past, and also through specific events such as the slaughter of Hebrew boys in Moses time, Herod killing children in Jesus time, through "social trends" such as infanticide commonly practiced by Roman fathers, in communist regimes such as China at the height of the One Child Policy ...I need not elaborate further.

“Children are central to the health and future well-being of the church. Reprioritizing ministry to children is the beginning of a revolution.”

So said researcher and cultural analyst George Barna before a strategic two-day session attended by 94 Christian leaders representing 54 organizations, including churches, parachurch ministries, media, and academia, at AWANA Clubs International headquarters in Streamwood, Illinois.

Barna’s clarion call to churches was doubly strong toward parents, as he claimed his recent research shows that “while 85% of parents believe they have the primary responsibility for the moral and spiritual development of their children, more than two out of three are abdicating that responsibility to their church.”

“And very few churches” Barna continued,”go beyond seeing children’s ministry as ‘bait’ that enables them to land the real treasure — i.e., adults. We spend roughly 68 times more money per capita on caring for the average felon than on a church’s ministry to a spiritually hungry child.”

Barna presented the findings of his research on the state of children’s ministry in the U.S., which fueled group discussions concerning the “4-14” window; that is, the critical age timeframe wherein the vast majority of people decide what they will—or won’t—believe. Barna’s findings—and their meaning to a church and family in transition—are spelled out in the book, Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions (Regal, 2003).

“Our children will determine the future, which makes them our most significant and enduring legacy,” Barna proclaimed, “can we afford to let the spiritual and moral dimension of our future leaders be shaped by default?”

A surprising outcome of the gathering was the uniform acceptance of Barna's words of challenge, even among those participants who have appreciated children’s ministry for years,beginning with pastors.

“I’m in the process of rethinking the direction and priorities of our church,” stated Dr. Ed Johnson, Senior Pastor of First Baptist Church in Ocala, Fla. “I’m going home with the deep conviction that children need to be the number one
priority of what we’re doing.”

So strongly did the majority of attendees respond to Barna’s challenge, that they themselves issued a number of calls and challenges.

Specifically, the Forum:
*** Called for churches to strategically place their resources toward ministering to children within this window of opportunity and to assist parents in their role of being spiritual shapers.

*** Called for parents to step up to their biblically directed responsibility to be the primary source of spiritual nurture for their children.

*** Encouraged strategic partnerships among organisations to work together to create awareness of this window of ministry opportunity

*** Called for ministries, churches and parents to adopt a comprehensive system of high quality teaching and mentoring efforts that include meaningful assessment and evaluation of children’s understandings.

*** Agreed to a coordinated ongoing effort at shifting the perception of ministry to children from that of mere appreciation to that of strategic priority in the local church.


Sponsoring organizations for this forum, held April 5 and 6, included: AWANA Clubs International, The Barna Group, Child Evangelism Fellowship, Christianity Today International, Gospel Light, and LifeWay Christian Resources.

Signposts

All around me just now is change.

Change is good and necessary but sometimes change brings about casualties.
Times of change are times where we need to take extra care with attention to detail not in a need to be "professional" but in a way that brings about inclusion.
Change requires us to bear with one another; to see the good in one another; to speak in love to one another; to seek above everything else that which unites and which demonstrates the heart of God.

But times of change also allow us to reflect and review the things we are involved in. Time to drop something? Pick something up? Time to move on? Time to settle down if we have nomadic tendencies?

I am really struggling with my workload more than I ever, ever have before. I work 0.8 of a week in a really large church, some 50% bigger than my past church, which was also a large church. Sometimes it takes me one whole day a week just to get through the previous week's emails; people wanting to join the team, queries, pastoral matters; all important things. Then there's the people I want to visit out of the office; the materials I need to write; the volunteers I want to encourage and support. If you talk about your workload, as many readers know, you can tend to have an audience of one as everyone is the same; there is always more and more work to be done. But there comes a time when mapping out areas of responsibility and writing out time diaries can be incredibly useful, plus the input of outside organisations such as this one

I had the privilege, a few years ago, of hearing Jill Garrett, formerly head of Gallup and now with Caret, speak on leadership issues within churches and a lot of what she said at that time was incredibly useful to me to help with the work-life balance. The reality is that I care deeply about my spiritual health - sometimes my job stands in the way of my own personal growth and that of others in my household.

I'm a child of my Father first and foremost and a Christian who nurtures my children's faith and releases them into all that God has for them. Instead of rushing over to praying with as many people as possible tonight after a wonderful open-air baptismal service (going into work-mode), I just sat with my wee boy on my knee and prayed for the release of all that God has for him in his life. I love him so much!

Spring Harvest interruption

We interrupt this transmission from Spring Harvest for the following……

I’ve been doing some work in the afternoons on research on mission expressions and children and also on children and the charismata – the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

I have just read something which has had me pounding the table (in a public place as well. Not a good look)

Right at the moment of typing this blog entry, the speaker from the live feed from The Big Top has just said: one thousand young people and children a week are leaving the church. He’s just said: “the church is only one generation away from extinction”. Please, please, if you are just passing by this blog and don’t usually work with children or have much to do with children’s leaders and pastors, please do read on.

I face an uphill journey in changing attitudes and practices in the church towards children. Well meaning as we are, the attitude “out of sight, out of mind” pervades the church in Britain. When new initiatives/church plants/plans are made, don’t just consider the resourcing of the under 18s (though that is a great first step!), but consider putting their needs high, high, high up on the agenda. If the church is statistically one generation away from extinction, then we need to pour our time, effort and money into the younger generation. Don’t just assume that good leaders in that area mean that is all OK. They need YOU! Your interaction. Your prayers. Your talk about The Walk. Please hear me out in what I am going to outline below and which has flavoured this blog from the moment of its inception back in 2006.

I am, at heart, a discipler. I have pastoral training and background. I didn’t start out as someone who works with under 12s – God called me into this out of a more general pastoral context. I have now discovered that when I write about issues for children, like teaching about why we worship and how we worship, I could just as easily use the words “new Christians”. And yet…..sometimes in our churches it feels as if new Christians are more important than children. (are we helping our new Christians grow? Are we meeting their needs? Have we found them mentors? Are we welcoming these new baby Christians into the church?) Do we ask those questions at a strategic leadership level about our children and young people?

I have been refreshing my ex-teacher knowledge of Vygotsky’s theories. Len Vygotsky is a developmental psychologist who has examined the connections between growing children and their culture (or community). He wrote that children’s development occurs in their culture and in turn TRANSFORMS THE CULTURE.

I’m reading about how this relates to a faith development context i.e. the church and I am relating this to the work of Urie Bronfenbrenner who has proposed that the growing human person is influenced by what he calls “a series of nesting structures, each inside the next, like a set of Russian dolls”.

(please bear with me!)

A child’s immediate setting – the home, the classroom, the church, is called a microsystem.
The second level is called the mesosystem; which refers to the interconnections between microsystems (for example, the connection between church and home). There are two further levels but as this is a blog and not a research paper I’ll not outline them further here.

It is proposed by secular developmental psychologists that children grow and develop in all of their Microsystems under the influence of all of the persons within that microsystem. Cynthia Neal writes that the Microsystems contain the building blocks of faith development and I agree. Ongoing, lifelong commitment to Christ is made or broken in these Microsystems.

Therefore, we ignore the child in context of the faith community at our peril. Is at any wonder children are leaving the church in their thousands?
She writes: “children are to be part of a faith community and share in its life”.

Share in its life.
What does that mean to you?

“When we leave Christian education to solely a Sunday school setting, we remove faith from context”.
Absolutely!

“The separation of the Christian faith from relationships and dynamic life gives [children] an artificial understanding of the Christian walk”.
Exactly.

Which is why I have set up intergenerational cell groups in the past. Which is why I want occasional interaction between adults and children and teenagers in the same gathering place for a few minutes sometimes. Not to make people feel uncomfortable at having to be starkly open but because children’s FAITH and COMMITTMENT to this amazing God is cemented when they hear and see adults and older teenagers talking of him, praying, encouraging.

When a child hears an adult praying for God to help them, they learn that its not a sign of weakness to ask for help from this God they have learned about perhaps only from books.
When a child hears an adult thanking God for his faithfulness in x or y, they learn that God is a God who can be trusted and who looks after his people.
When a child sees an adult worshipping, they learn that God is worthy of worship no matter how old one is.

I’ve banged on about this final point in many other posts which you can find by looking back through this blog using labels if you like, but I am going to end with this quote from Cynthia Neal (in “Nurture that is Christian”):

It is a sad commentary when Christian education is relegated to the Sunday School teacher; thereby relieving the rest of the congregation of the responsibility for the faith development of the children of the church. It is someone else’s job (get on with the job, Lynn!)
That is in DIRECT contrast to the scriptural understanding of faith. Fostering an evolving faith community (or microsystem to use Bronfenbrenner’s terminology) requires us to unite the learning of biblical doctrines and creeds with the collaborative sharing of our faith experiences.

Vision

My church family, hunnerds of them, is gathering around a vision meal tomorrow.

Vision is absolutely essential. Communicating it is a rare gift which my SP possesses in abundance.

My take on "vision casting" , from my little bit of experience, is that getting people to let go of their own ideas of what is best is the hardest bit of all. We like our ideas, thank you very much! They have been with us a long time! I'm no exception to this.

My prayer this week is simply for open hands; a loose grip on the things that we perceive dear and a heart to bless others. To speak blessing over "signs of life" and to resist the urge to go "hmmmm" because it looks and feels different. I've done it and I freely confess my own lack of immunity!

Envisioning Day

Today I had two long car journeys which meant I was able to (hands free) make some long phone calls I've been trying to make all week. I *am* enjoying open plan but it's not the place to make pastoral phone calls. I'm sitting near the door; a real hubbub of conversation sometimes, beside the laminator/guillotine/comb binder thingy. And near the 14 different recycle bins (eco-warriors are very active here. Of course this is a good thing.)

And I'm pretty guilty of being chatty sometimes too.

A new thing about open plan: I'm finding all sorts of interesting things left on my desk by other people; my desk seems to have a kind of a "hot desk" feel to it as I am part-time and it's next to an empty desk that other people come in and use. I need to remember to put away some things I leave out; something I am not used to doing.

I've spent a little more time working at home this week; which has been good for me personally but also results in me feeling a bit on my own, sad individual that I am. I'm just missing friends! People you can call in on; people to talk and pray with; people you can just *be* with. There are some folks here who I would consider very good friends already but when you are feeling your way a little bit in a new community you don't want to overdo it. I may only be suitable to have round in small doses!

Saturday is a very big day for me as I outline a vision for children, family and all age ministry. I am expecting thirty to forty people and this day will be repeated in October, for more folks to come.

I hope to teach on some foundational building blocks for any church which considers itself to offer any kind of ministry to children and families.

Without these kinds of topics being discussed at a leadership level, I don't know how a church can interact with the families and young people who live around them. We have got to know what we believe; at a foundational level; do we really want to welcome children into our church? Do we know what the Lord Jesus said about children? Do we understand the implications this has for everything else we do?
.."unless you change and become like little children you will not enter the kingdom of heaven"..heavy duty words to exegete......

I'm going to teach on/dip into most of the following:- (probably)
- why work with children?
- God calls children
- the significance of children
- personal faith journey
- faith development in children (Westerhoff/Fowler)
- what is the status of children before God?
- the ingredients of children's evangelism
- church vs school - not the same!
- risk taking with your team (* not specifically about children; but its a training need I have identified)
- how to choose a children's bible - just an advice sheet; need something very practical for parents
- vision and value statement; this governs everything I am and everything I do with regard to children and families and intergenerational, all age stuff.

There was so much I could cover on this day but I felt God asking me to concentrate on these areas as I need to get some firm foundations in place for what is to come. I need to re-establish quite a lot of teams and therefore I need people to get VERY excited about the potential of the young lives they shape. I am still stirred from the quote contained within this post here....why is the greatest status afforded to a University professor and not a nursery nurse?

Plus I have some great emergent-type visual clips, pictures and thought provokers. And a lovely big bookstall with all my favourite Bibles, books, Cds and DVDs on it. I think I might enjoy this day with the great folks from my new church family!

The Week So Far.....

:::::phew:::::: one big week has just past and one more is ahead......

I needed to be up extra early today to get a lot of things said to God. I awoke feeling a tad on the low side; overwhelmed; in need of "coorying up" with the one who created me.

I feel a weight of expectation on me as I lead the club this coming week. This morning I needed to cast that aside and ask for the Holy Spirit to help me do all I have to do this week for the sake of the children who are coming for the week; I so, so, so want them to encounter Jesus. Something touched me this morning; about how attractive Jesus was to people; they crowded round him; they wanted to be where he was. I've loved the Genesis narratives we have used over the past few years to tell the story of Joseph but I'm excited to be ending my time in this fellowship with stories from Luke.

I've worked full time since returning from Canada on July 16th and I'm feeling a bit tired. We've been trying to keep our house clean and tidy for potential viewers; no mean feat during school summer holidays. We've also been organising lots of visits for the kids to various generous friends who have had them round to play/eat/even sleepover :-)

So in some ways I am looking forward to a little rest or break in the week between leaving this job and starting the new one; though the reality is with the move happening a week on Thursday we'll have less time for that than we thought. Can't pack up the house or clear out my office while the holiday club is in full swing. Still, three days of long lies i.e. past 7.30am is very appealing at this moment in time!

The church family organised a Farewell Party on Friday night. It was a great night and we are very touched by the love shown to us. If I speak about it more I will cry on this blog and that would be messy. More about that in a week's time after our final service. Particular thanks are due to our dear friends Pete and Henry who trawled through my musical history on Facebook and iTuned music for the disco from my "music i like" preferences. I have a suspicious feeling that there is more Mac'd Visuals coming my way..I spied an embarrassing photo on a desktop at the sound desk (OH NO!)

How many church leaving do's have Sparky's Dream on the playlist by the awesomely wonderful Teenage Fan Club? :-) Classic tune.

Team, team and team

This post is really made with heartfelt thanks and thoughts of those who "labour with me" in kids and family ministry, in particular in the regular weekly activities that happen.

At every opportunity that I am humanly capable of (because I am human and I do run out of time and energy!) I try to praise and encourage people who volunteer with me. They are the wheels that make the motion happen! The local church is a place where we can serve, where we can experience team, where we can experience something of what it is to serve in ways that aren't just using words. I've just finished reading Bill Hybel's book about the power of volunteering; the joy that comes from volunteering, the massive impact that can be made by the things we do and the way a church can not only transform itself from self-centredness and consumeristic me-pleasing but transform society. The book is packed full of examples and encouragements. Do read it, if you are involved in any sort of team. Or want to be! :-)

I'd planned a lunch today for parents and children aged 8-11, sent out an information letter, tear off slip etc and did my best to estimate the numbers fairly accurately for the couple doing the catering after the morning service. As the number of bodies increased, we realised that, instead of 60, there were over 90 present! I really did pray an increase over the 3 soup pots, as did other team members - there simply wasn't enough there and guess what - everyone was fed. Thank you God.

Then the ABSOLUTE STARS (the 8s to 11s leaders) took 52 children away to play for 45 minutes while I introduced a new curriculum to the assembled parents.

I became somewhat indisposed after a short closing prayer made to dedicate this new curriculum up to God (if you were there, then you know what I mean; it wasn't planned for; like I would deliberately embarrass myself right in front of 50 watching parents!!) I got up to find that the 8s to 11s leaders and other supporters had washed the dishes, cleared the tables, put all the chairs away, were hoovering the floors, had packed down all my AV equipment....and countless other tasks. I love to see the outward manifestations of the presence and power of God but hand on heart I love just as much the warm feelings and sense of envelopment that comes with leading a team who serve; people who see a need and go meet it without being asked. Who understand what you need to have accomplished next and go work towards it with you - not for you - WITH you. It's like a deep, unspoken language. To me, it represents the Trinity; of mutual and unending interdependence, motivated by love.

Guys - if you're reading this (and I'll be writing to you during the week!) - I love you and appreciate you!

Living as community

Since January I have been stirred by this quote by Bill Hybels. It sums up my love for, and delight in, the local church:

"There is nothing like the local church when it's working right. Its beauty is indescribable. Its power is breathtaking. Its potential is unlimited. It comforts the grieving and heals the broken in context of community".

I was moved to tears at a wonderful celebration lunch on Saturday hosted by one of our families who have, after 3 long years of struggle, won the right to remain in this country in safety. I cannot go into here what they have endured, suffice to say that TRULY God's hand has been upon them, even using them to save other lives during years of fighting in their homeland. They have raised the most beautiful, polite and gracious children.

The family hosted lunch (in a borrowed large house! - more blessing of the local church!) to thank people in the church for standing with them - and three churches in different parts of the UK were represented. We were all joined in our love for this family. Chief amongst the guests was a man who had laboured tirelessly as advocate, friend and helper, to the extent that he gave up his job to help our asylum seeking friends. When it seemed as though things could not get any worse a few months ago, these two friends felt the promises of God revealed to them as they looked at a moon obscured by clouds. They sensed God say the clouds would clear. They photographed that moment to remember what God had said. K was presented with a painting by an artist in the church who had captured that vision from God exactly in oil. He sobbed as he received it. We all did!

And also chief amongst the guests was the senior citizen from our church who, many years ago now, caught God's heart for asylum seekers; for the alien in our midst. She has cried tears over the years and loved these guys unconditionally day in and day out. She is nearer 80 than 70 years old. She spends her life daily caring for these families who are in desperate need of love and support, from every faith and none.

And this is what I love about the local church and the graphic and stirring example of community this weekend; that God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. (1 Cor 1:27-29)