Children - the Natural Missional Conduit

How does your church see children and mission? I don't mean, what mission do you do for children, although that's a really important question.....

I mean:
- what is their involvement in your church's missional activity?
- how do you encourage their involvement? I reckon you have no problem with wanting teenagers to be missional, what about those younger than 13? And actually, wouldn't missional teenagers have even more practice if they were discipled into missional ways of thinking before they were 13?
- if you are a parent, how are you instilling in your own child(ren) the need not just to TELL others, but to live your life in such a way that it can't fail to point people to Jesus To simply love and serve!
- if you are a church leader - in the pressure on you to be missional/have strategies/run evangelistic activities, I've said it before and I'll say it again - don't miss the ones in front of you, lower down, maybe even at your knee level!
- and where you have children who are stepping out into deeper levels of prayer and ministry, with a heart for those outside of the church, are you putting your best around them in terms of community, involvement and belonging? Are they being pastored and cared for? Just marvelling at their giftedness/openness/spirituality and giving them opportunities to exercise that is not going to be enough. I don't want to descend into dualistic-type talk but be aware that they need you - the church - to love them, pray for them and cover their backs.

Children: a natural missional conduit

Children talk about God very naturally. Because they trust, they easily talk about what they know and have seen and heard. This is not just simple mimicry, it is a God-ordained way of transmitting truth. I have no scientific proof for this – this is only a throwaway personal proposition - but I wonder if this ability is linked to the hardwiring in the brain to connect with God identified by neuroscientists, which I've written about elsewhere? To connect with God, to experience him and to simply tell others the truth about him? Let me give you an example: a three year old child is brought to church by a carer. Her grandmother, who is the child’s full time guardian, is at home. The fact that her grandchild attends Sunday School gives her a break, some respite for a few hours. As the weeks and months pass, her little grandchild tells her repeatedly that Jesus loves her, that Jesus forgives us for the things she's done wrong, that she can tell Jesus the things that are worrying her and he will listen. I believe this child was speaking right into the things her grandmother most needed to hear at those moments.

Some months later, I have the awesome privilege of sitting with this grandmother in her home as she shares some of the stresses in her life. She tells me what her grandchild has said and asks if this could be true, does Jesus really feel this way about her? She confesses how deeply impacted she was by this little child’s words to her. I am able to tell her that it is true and to pray with her. To help her let go of some of the guilt she is carrying and to receive God’s love for herself – all because of the insistent words of her three year old grandaughter.

A similar story but not so positive in its outcome. At our annual summer holiday club for children, a brother and sister returned home singing the songs they had learned about Jesus love, care and protection for some months after the club has finished. They explained to their parents what the songs meant to them. The children were not allowed back to the holiday club the following summer as their parents did not want the same thing to happen again as they were not comfortable with their children having this experience. Dear readers – all over our world children are speaking and singing the most incredible truth about the nature of God himself! They do it innocently, naturally, sometimes like lambs to the slaughter. They need our love and support – and care and protection. Being such natural conduits means children are also susceptible to attack.

In 2005 I had a vivid dream. I watched as hundreds of terracotta warriors were unearthed, just like those uncovered in 1974 in China. But these weren’t adults, they were individual children, each armed with weaponry and precisely positioned in battle formation for the task that was ahead. I didn’t know this at the time of the dream, but each terracotta soldier that was uncovered from the Emperor’s Palace in Xi’an, Shaanxi Province, was absolutely unique. No two soldiers of the eight thousand discovered are the same.

At the time of this dream I felt the call of God to love, support and equip children to stand strong in their faith. As a response to this picture in 2005 I wrote a vision statement which said to the church that we would disciple children to be victors, not victims. I knew from God that I could have high expectations, not for the children in my church to perform, but high expectations as to their capabilities to be disciples. I knew that I would not be alone in wanting to disciple children, that there would be many people in churches in the comfortable West feeling the same thing. And so my “career” in children and family ministry has tried to be very practical in carrying out that vision.

So firstly, I was to help children grow up knowing who they were in Christ, but secondly as a result of this dream, I knew I was to help prepare the church to be the safe place, the covering for these little warriors. I'm writing the book asking all who read it to partner in this. These children aren’t disciples-in-training, they are by definition disciples who are experiencing the battle now.

When she was six years old my daughter came home from school in tears because a boy in her class had laughed at her because she believed in Jesus. “He’s not real, he’s dead!” she was told. This was devastating for my daughter so what followed in our household was a crash course in apologetics suitable for six-year-olds to use in the classroom and playground.

Let every member of the church of Jesus aid in this task of teaching, instructing, welcoming and loving children who carry a huge ability to impart to the church but also a keen eye to watch and protect them, intercede for them by name and cover them at all times. They are not designed to operate as lone rangers but alongside others in their family, part of the clan and tribe of the people of God.

I love this.

Reaching Families

I have been carrying a growing inquisitiveness to find out about the conditions that led to the phenomenal growth of the church in the First Century.
I love this quote from Rodney Stark, a secular historian who has tried to answer this very same question:
How did a tiny and obscure messianic movement from the edge of the Roman Empire dislodge classical paganism and become the dominant faith of Western civilisation?

Reading a theology book (Family in the Bible) for the second time in preparation for remitting an academic review of it, I kept coming across footnotes about this Stark book. I hadn't come across it before so last month I read it from cover to cover. Its compulsive reading for anyone interested in the growth of the church and/or with a social science background, as I do (Geography). Stark outlines a conservative estimate of 40 per cent growth per decade in the numbers of Christians and admits that he comes to this figure without any space for signs, wonders and the miraculous. There seems to have been a remarkable increase in figures between 250 and 300 and this is borne out in archaeological evidence of houses being remodelled to fit more worshippers in. It’s interesting to note at this period that persecution had increased under several Roman Emperors most notably Valerian in 253 but by 311 this lessened, culminating in Constantine’s edict of toleration in 313. So from this there may be a lesson for us today: as persecution increased the church grew rapidly, then the governmental leaders realised that they needed the Christians onside (in 311, Galerius realised he needed the Christians to pray for the security of the state).

Most interestingly of all is the evidence for growth well in excess of 40pc per decade that has come to light in Egypt – extraordinary and miraculous growth is shown in the numbers of Christian converts in Egypt (from 0pc Christian in Egypt to 18 pc, in 65 years) – people changed their names to Christian names and this was tracked on papyri.

So 40 pc per decade in the growth of Christianity is called a conservative, given that very few actual records exist. The reality was that vast numbers must have been added at some stages AND the reality was that this thing spread geographically. Imagine what that would look like for your church. But more than that, for your region/area. These numbers were for society as a whole. Sure we have growing churches today, but for every growing one, how many are declining or shutting? This was true societal transformation.

What factors contributed to this?Sociological study on the growth of the Moonies (stay with me!!) – a cult – all of the converts in the study were united by close ties of friendship or kinship e.g. next door neighbours, mothers of similar ages, friends from work.

And so here lies a key principle in reaching families: for conversion to happen, people have or develop stronger attachments to Christians than they have to non-members of Christianity. There is a very interesting sociological principle here on conformity, which is outlined in the book. Suffice to say: strong friendships with Christian group members results in conversions. Simple.

And here we get to the crux of it for us – households. Each member of a household unit has unparalleled opportunities to attract other people into the faith that they hold dear through each of their networks. Note I said networks, not just one's own family. There is no single term for family in the NT.

Oikos, meaning house or household, included the householders family, slaves, and through their network of relationships, friends and neighbours. This was the major network in Rome and when Christianity grew using the same pattern of relating oikos – the exponential growth happened. Those looking in saw tremendous change and reorientation.

So what about talking about ministry to households if the word "family" has negative or painful connotations for people? We have more one or two person households in this country than at any point in history. We have broken ourselves down into smaller and smaller units, therefore I wonder if there is a rise in people looking for "oikos" - community through their networks. And you know what, churches don't just need the keen beans in their 20s pre-children with more time on their hands, churches need business people, teenagers, retired people, parents of young children, empty-nesters, kids.... - for this to really be all it could be means it needs every one. As Banning Liebscher said: don't think revival if going to come through the young. If you have breath in your body, God wants to use you.

Household transformation in the first few centuries - I wonder if I can describe how radical the shift was.

In first century Graeco-Roman times, the man held power over everyone’s possessions in the whole household – he was the paterfamilias. You may not be surprised to know that the Roman Empire had demographic challenges. There was a low birthrate due to abortion and infanticide which was readily practised. Fathers had the right to speak life or death over every newborn child and male children were favoured. There were far more men than women due to the practice of killing newborn females. Children had no status, childhood was seen as something to be grown out of, to just get through into adulthood and full legal status (under Roman law).

Christianity directly impacted the quality of life for wives and mothers. Is it any wonder that women turned to Christianity in vast numbers? Christian teaching directly confronted :
Infidelity
Incest
Polygamy
Infanticide
Divorce
Abortion

We cannot underestimate the sociological change this brought about. There was an increase in women’s status, standing and security. In the first few centuries there are numerous examples of noble Roman women bringing their husbands to faith. Christian women enjoyed far greater marital security and equality than pagan women – this was attractive to others to see. This drew people to the church.

People often say to me: there was so much about children in the Gospels, what happened in Acts? Acts sees the power of the Holy Spirit poured out which propels the church forward; Jesus words elevating children were the necessary platform for the move of God throughout households in Acts. I wrote a little more about this here, please do read in conjunction with this post if you have time.

So to see a return to household transformation requires:

1.a return to releasing each other to be “fully present” in our networks of friends, families and neighbours instead of always out at meetings. Or maybe even (shock horror) cutting our work hours.... Stop being so bloomin' busy!

2.A deliberate strategy to build attractive models of oikos in our local churches – and may I suggest that at least some of these ways encompass all of the generations........I had an amazing journey with this between 2006 and 2008.


More in the next post.

Acknowledgement: Rodney Stark, The Rise of Christianity: How the Obscure, Marginal Jesus Movement Became the nt Religious Force in the Western World in a Few Centuries (Princeton University Press/Harper Collins, 1996/1997).

Missional Communities and Children

If you have been following my story a little you will know why the excerpt from the interview below is ver-r-r-r-r-y interesting. You might also know I am on a three month break to attempt to write a book on all things to do with children's spiritual development, outreach and mission to the young and their families and how to do this in the context of the wider church.

I'm not wanting to go back the way to recount again the past few weeks as I am feeling a fresh wave of thankfulness, gratefulness and hope for the future (after a very low low on Wednesday). I've now resolved in my mind that part of what I have been going through, in the past few posts, has been for the following reason:-

This writing project and time out to reflect and to talk to others means that IN PARTICULAR I can hone in on how younger ones, lone parents and families who I love with all of my heart might fit into and GROW into the missional church model that my church bravely entered into. What is God's Spirit saying about missional communities and families and kids/teens?

Already I have had some vivid new dreams about what this might look like. Like, what shape it would actually take to make it begin to happen, but in the dream it isn't me that's giving it shape, I'm simply facilitating, it's the people gathered together under a waterfall, a pouring out of God's Spirit who receive the details he breathed into them. It feels as if I am seeing a fresh and new perspective because I am away from it all. Is it possible that precisely when you're not IN something you can see something new?

It's important to note that the things I've experienced with missional expressions were not because they were wrong - I don't think that nor have ever thought that. Missional expressions/communities turn inward-focussed Bible study groups into groups of people who look at local needs and ask the Spirit of God to lead them deeper in what it means to do the kinds of things that Jesus would do. Therefore, once they are ablaze with the Spirit's power and living out of a deep, personal revelation of the Father's love and a solid foundation on his word, there is literally nothing they can't tackle head on!

So half-hearted meeting together for Bible study out of routine, struggling every step of the way is not what I envisage. Nor is a tight community of people of similar socio-economic backgrounds what I envisage.

Radical, Holy Spirit empowered encounters deeply engrained in simply loving the community around and watching and listening for the people God is bringing across one's path is what I really want to be part of.

I personally love looking out for the Person of Peace God puts across my path(the terminology used) as I know in my noah what that means; that one who you pray for and love to bits and look for ways to love and serve. Someone who, for that period of time, is receptive to you and the good news about Jesus. For reasons of confidentiality its best to share an example from many years ago. Someone I knew vaguely was very ill a few years ago and it became clear that she was my Person of Peace. For a long time I thought of her, prayed for her and tried to do practical things to help her as often as I could. I still miss her and think of her often.

The greatest privilege was asking if I could pray for her in hospital and seeing her full recovery some time later. The whole point of the person of peace is that we love them and serve them.

Back to the last week's research on missional communities and children, teenagers and families. This forms part of what I'm writing and follows on from my first chapter, an examination of how children and new Christians learn and grow in their faith and the second chapter, the place of nurture, which missional communities are so well placed to offer, if they are growing well.

The following is an excerpt from an interview with Mike Breen, who is widely credited as one of the first people to practise missional communities in his church in Sheffield (Mike now lives in the States). You can read the whole interview here, on Fuller Theological Seminary's blog.

The parts in bold are the interviewer's questions:

I don’t think I’ve read any book on the missional church that spends as much time discussing how to create space for families and children. What are the primary difficulties you’ve seen incorporating children and families into these types of communities? Why is it worth the effort to do this?

Well like I said above, I think there are different ways of incorporating kids into Missional Community life. There isn’t one way we’ve found best to do it; it generally depends on the mission context, age of the kids, temperament and work situation of the parents, size of the meeting spot, etc. But at a bare minimum, we would say that kids need to be seeing their parents involved in mission and discipleship and participating with them. We’ve done a fair amount of research on this and what came to light is that kids who have atheist or agnostic parents have a better chance of having a strong faith than kids who have parents that go to church, but don’t ever disciple their kids themselves. There’s simply too much dissonance there. Parents must be the primary disciplers of their kids and Missional Communities let this happen.

The reason it’s worth it is because this allows our kids to journey into a story bigger and far more important than the consumeristic narcissism they are sold everywhere else. And parents and spiritual aunts and uncles have to show them how to live this kind of life if it’s going to stick.

And so, for me in the quote above Mike Breen highlights this kind of thing that I've banged on about before and I personally can't wait to hear what else he says when he speaks in Scotland next week.

June....all for Christ

Looking back over the four years of blog entries in June, it's always the case that June is like: "how can I manage to do all the things in this month that need to be done?"

Yet I always manage it. Although I feel like I might not be able to (I sent a crisis text to a praying friend just this week) I try to take one week at a time. I try to "rest" my way through each one of them. Sometimes I manage it, sometimes I don't.

Our church has superb administrative staff, real high quality, servant hearted, organised and caring folks who go out of their way to help me and they have been a lifeline to me as I had to initially undertake a huge tranche of admin work to get systems and paperwork in place for children and volunteers.

In May, I gained a part-time volunteer children's worker who is also very gifted and organised and a real grafter and I am hoping we can retain her.

So this month:
* I held a residential children's weekend away. Our theme can be best summed up by the Drake's song "God is Here" - He was *so* present. The kids had a total and utter breakthrough when we used this song to worship more freely than they have ever done so before which opened the way to more freedom and response to the Word. I was teaching on preventing sin becoming a stronghold and how the application of the Word of God into our minds affected our will and our emotions - our ability to obey, resist and overcome.

All I can say is that God is just so AWESOME and so faithful to reveal what he is like - I love, love, love it when children who have been part of a church community for 2 minutes (3 months) have a supernatural encounter with God's Holy Spirit without anyone telling them anything about it or manipulating anything to happen. This has happened every single year we have gone away. "I feel all wobbly, like I might fall over and I kept seeing Jesus in front of me, holding his arms out", "it feels like God is hugging me"...what were we doing? Worshipping Jesus. Singing, dancing, praying, offering up our lives to him in spontaneous worship - both leaders and children saying: here we are Father God.......
God wants to tell us AND show us that he loves us!

* I've got a Positive Parenting Course running this month, and its full, 80% folks from the community. I was told today that two of the guests were pleasantly surprised with the atmosphere and how the course ran - they had expected to be lectured in a dusty and cold hall. It's a form of guided self-help, to use the parlance, so I facilitate, not teach, the course.

* I'm also running a daytime Alpha course just now, with one of my previous guests who came to faith helping me run the course. We have seven guests and a couple of Christian "bringer-alongers" - if you read regularly you will know how much I love Alpha and next week is our Holy Spirit morning and a bacon roll breakfast! What's really great about this course is that we have two of our guests are parents from the midweek kids club, so we are seeing two or three members of the same family be immersed in the words of Jesus and in loving wee communities (small groups)at the same time! My kids team see them during the week and I see parent during the week!

Coupled with this, God continues to bring families along who are just waking up one morning and coming to church.I shouldn't compare this with my previous church, but I have been blown away by how often this is happening. It seems like a once or twice monthly occurrence. I'm visiting not one but three families this month to talk about how to have friendship with Jesus and become part of our church (and in particular, part of the missional expressions; our smaller gatherings) is why I am reminded again and again of what I believe the Lord has for us in Scotland in the realm of children and families, oh Jesus, I'm longing for the more.

I've said it before, but I sense there will be an ease in evangelism if we welcome the Spirit's leading and not rely solely on our own good effort. I've just to co-operate as he moves freely in response to the prayers over this nation. I have honestly not come up with any strategies personally except I run Alpha when I sense there are a cluster of people ready to do it, for me this usually takes the form of one teatime course and two daytime courses. I try to ask God about what else I should do in my morning a week retreating to lay the diary out. I try to be myself (this can be hard as my background is so different from the community I am now part of). Oh, and it helps that I am part of an obsessively outward-focussed church. I don't like typing that. Shouldn't every church be outward focussed?

* there are two other really big things on this month. Tomorrow I have holiday club team training day and I am really excited about this club. I knew it was a Dave Godfrey as soon as I read the daily themes - if you are a NE England person, check Dave out. He's great. I think I will post on this another time, I want to offer some theological reflection on why I think starting a holiday club with the Ascension story (Day 1) and then Pentecost (Day 2) is great :-) So I see 25 or 30 lovely people tomorrow.

* finally, before I can go on the holiday we haven't really got organised yet, I have to finalise the summer cover arrangements. Dance, drama, games and Persecuted Church Sundays.

* oh and order the loads of Bibles - see other posts. That's a fun June job. Cept the NCV translations are being reprinted and not available anywhere in the UK. Grrrr. Might have to go backwards to the Good News version for one of the age bands.....

* I've got two preaches to do and two all age services to plan but at least some of them are well underway already.

*I forgot I am leading children and family worship evening/praise event on Friday nightt with a mini-teach and ministry between the age ranges present.

*I'm actually trying to meet with some of the kids' teams (managed two so far) regarding some major changes after the summer, as well as see some pretty vulnerable parents, I'm keen to catch folks before school holidays hit us in 3 weeks. Invariably I am not going to manage all of this before July starts.

We managed to have a babysitter to get to a small group meeting together this week and the Spirit fell very powerfully and very gently. Cue: stuck to the floor in rest and having a download of joy and a vision of heaven. Just want you need to get you through the rest of the month! I just couldn't do it without you, Jesus. It's all for you because I love you so and I understand afresh this week that what I manage to accomplish - or don't - doesn't matter a jot.

Mission Shaped Communities

Some of the staff and elders of the church where I work spent a few days here courtesy of the European Church Planting Network We were talking and learning about different ways to take the church OUT and planning for future missional expressions that our church would plant out of our church building and in the community.

This was a trip replete with sweet memories. Way back in the early 1990s, Mr HIWWC and I had places and people that hugely influenced us and who, in a way, we kind of worshipped (blush). That sounds pretty bad, doesn't it? Almost idolatrous.........so the villages of Chalfont St Peters and Chorleywood were not unknown to us. Jim Graham had led a very significant weekend at my previous church in 1984 when I was honestly just a child and Goldhill Baptist Church was somewhere we longed to visit at that time. Great to see again the sight of men playing cricket on the village green, which also greeted us all those years ago - very quaint and "English" (!)

It was great to be away - to chat and discuss away from phones and without glancing at other people/keeping an eye on how things were going (as some pastors invariably do; one eye on the congregation; one eye on the worship leader; some also with one eye on the watch!!)- we were encouraged to be "fully present" with mobile phones put away and to throw ourselves into this Learning Community, picking up things from the other churches that were present, asking questions about children and families (in my case) in these other churches' missional communities.

Most of all I loved the atmosphere of prayer - the team at Chorleywood wanted to encourage and bless us and when the time to pray for one another came - it was awesome. It felt like home; a safe place, where loving words, scriptural encouragements and prophetic direction was being spoken over us. I wept and wept for this nation and for our hearts to be his. (always the sniffler)

On a lighter note: gorgeous B&B with three of us in a lovely room but with a CURTAIN dividing the ensuite from the rest of the room. Not to be recommended after eating a curry at 10pm.....