Thursday, October 01, 2009


I have had a testing two days. Anyone slightly close to me knows I have an *interesting* relationship with keys. I've already lost a set of keys for this new house we have been in since.....June.

I'm not going to go into it all suffice to say I have been locked out totally and utterly and had to take refuge in the manse (Tuesday) then ran out of petrol 50 miles away with no purse and phone out of charge (Wednesday) but in both of these cases my heavenly Father has intervened pretty hugely saving me from huge cost (thank you kind, kind locksmith) and using his people (the whole staff team for morale boosting, eddie, gary and joanne) because he loves me so. I'm rather dizzy at times.

Our family support group (a requirement for those on staff in this church) met also and brought such kind words from Father God to me; never a truer word was spoken by one of the group though, about there being a tug on my heart. She is someone I hardly have to say a thing to for her to know my mind. She is older than me and more senior in ministry terms. She is from another church, another city, another whole kind of ministry role but I so admire her prophetic ability that I learn from it every time. She is one person with whom I rarely have to speak and she knows what is on my mind.

I have a whole lot going on in my head and heart just now but this I know for sure; I want to be so close to Father God that lots of moments within this family are filled with worshipping and praying and talking and thinking. I don't think I am coping that well with some things coming my way, and I have been told as such too, which is hard to move on from. Oh to be instantly refined - but that was never promised us!

But my love (for the children here, for mums and dads desperately seeking more in every sense of the word, the Christians and the not-yet Christians) is growing stronger rather than waning. But the tug is for more...of more than I can or should write here. Pray as we work this out.

Perhaps you could post in the comments the answer to this question: what tugs at your heart?


  1. Have you ever read, "the heart of a servant leader" by C. John Miller? (a posthumously published collection of his letters). It has a great story about a pastor who looses his keys!!

  2. sounds like one I should read......


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