Friday, September 22, 2006


They Know You're The Children's Pastor Because...

The last time you made it to the adult service you tried to do actions to Amazing Grace. You were banned from the produce aisle of Morrisons for singing the theme song to Veggie Tales.
Your summer begins when the Holiday Club ends.
Your version of Jesus’ first miracle has Him turning water into Irn Bru.
You rolled your eyes when the pastor told the congregation how much time the worship team members sacrifice to serve God.
You are starting to have meaningful conversations alone in your office with a puppet.
In the church foyer everyone runs when they see you coming for fear you’re trying to recruit them.
You’re afraid to close your eyes when you pray.
When people ask you how many children you have you tell them between 120 and 170.
You carry Rich Tea biscuits in your pockets.
Your juice and biscuit budget is bigger than your salary.
You buy everything in bulk.
You honesty believe you are only doing this temporarily until the church finds someone else.
You were stunned to learn that some scissors are pointed.
The children’s workers are taking bets on how long you will last.
You plan an event for 200 and 50 show up.
You plan an event for 50 and 200 show up.
You prefer a root canal to meeting with the church leadership team.
You know how to pray for healing for dogs, cats and goldfish.
The Senior Pastor has forgotten your name.
You have forgotten the Senior Pastor’s name.
The church officer won’t speak to you.
You’ve never heard a guest speaker at your church.
You once sat up straight in the middle of the night and yelled at the top of your lungs, “IS THE BIG SERVICE OUT YET?!!!!”


  1. Actually - I read that again and think I must be the children's pastor so many of those items refer to me! Particularly the veggie tales singing. I have to shop at ASDA these days...


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